When your body feels broken every day!

 

Living and dealing with chronic illness on a daily basis is and can be a desperate struggle.  Waking up day after day feeling like everything has been stolen from you.  The life you once knew no longer exists. Feeling like every bone in your body is broken and all of your organs are revolting and shutting down.  The level of fatigue is so high, just trying to keep your eyes open is a battle in itself.

Dealing with numerous autoimmune diseases that are rare to boot.  Having mastocytosis affects the pain in the bones and allergic reactions to everything! Super sensitive and spontaneous reactions.  My autonomic neuropathay/POTS is affecting my blood pressure and heart rate greatly and causing constant dizziness and lightheadedness  and and frequent passing out.  It feels like someone has drained all the energy out of my body and left me no reserve.  No energy to to even the simpilist of things, even bathing or showering or trying to pick up around my room.

Going into a flare sets one back even further, for me it feels like Freddie Kreuger, Edward Scissor-hands and the Alien waging WWIII in my stomach and intestines trying to get out on top of swallowing a gallon of drano and having the stomach flu and food poisoning x10  simultaneously.  Going for months unable to keep anything down, chronic diarrhea, weight loss, fatigue again, sleepless nights, excruciating pain.  When your body twists and contorts and spasms and cramps from lack of nutrients and dehydration.  When you fell like you are slowly dying and being pulled apart fiber by fiber.  Gastroparesis flares are terrible because there is no  rhyme or reason to them.  There is no predetermined time line or set of rules to go by for how they are going to act.  Everyone that I have had has been different, gotten longer, more serious and more complicated.

Its the aspect of staying positive and optimistic through all of this that is key! Trying to always look for the silver lining in every cloud and he light at the end of the tunnel.

I believe in posting positive posts and to be encouraging despite pain and suffering because I want to offer hope! In pictures I’m always smiling through pain!

I”m just remaining hopeful that one day there will be a cure for gasrtoparesis and some of these other conditions.